Are you truly committed to your own growth as a leader?

Guidelines to finding the leadership coach who can really help you grow as a leader

 Whether you are an experienced leader already in a leadership position in your organization or a young high potential performer with a goal of reaching a leadership position, finding a coach who can truly be helpful in building your leadership skills and adding to your exisitng leadership tool box is a daunting challenge. A Google or LinkedIN search will return thousands of "leadership coaches" pitching their unique abilities as a leadership coach. So how does a person who is truly committed to their own growth as a leader find a coach who can be truly helpful to them over the long haul?

I have some ideas for you to consider, based on my decades of experience coaching executives and leaders in both for profit and non-profit organizations. 

1. Look for a coach who shares your values, not just your industry.

The primary value that a coach should provide is an expansion of your perspective outside the silo of your industry or market. Hiring a coach who is a leader in your industry based on his book or a speech at a conference because he/she is considered a subject matter expert in your industry could be helpful in the short term but is a disservice to your long term development as a leader. Why? Because truly visionary leaders are "out of the box" thinkers who integrate ideas from outside their own business/industry silo. 

Successful coaching experiences are deeply personal relationships formed over time together. Long lasting personal relationships are formed from shared values, similar family dynamics, personal interests outside of work, and sometimes, similar faith walks. These non-business factors form the foundation of a relationship that builds mutual trust and leads to a level of transparency that can actually produce positive change and personal maturation.

2. Look for a coach who has a wide variety of business and professional experience that you don't have.

I  think of successful coaching relationships a team of two, with a shared goal of growth through mutual exploration. As with all highly effective teams, a diversity of skills, talents, experiences, and strengths is the key to success.  Leaders will inevitably find themselves in any number of unpredictable circumstances where their personal knowledge is insufficient to lead their team to a successful outcome. A leaders ability to build a team with diverse expertise and personal styles and then rely on them in a crisis is a critical success factor in a leadership career. A coaching relationship is the perfect place to learn and practice this important skill in the context of a trusting relationship where failure is not only acceptable but expected as a part of growth. As one of my former bosses said, "Business is the only competitive arena where people as expected to perform at a high level every day in every new challenge without practice beforehand".

3. Look for a coach who has the ability to help you learn about yourself.

The research on career success is very clear: intelligence and technical skills are NOT good predictors of career success; emotional intelligence is. That means your leadership coach must be able to identify and articulate your strengths in these 5 critical areas of emotional intelligence, identified by Daniel Goleman in his ground breaking book:

• Self-awareness.
• Self-regulation.
• Motivation.
• Empathy.
• Social skills

Surprisingly, while an intellectual understanding of these EI factors is a good first step, it is the emotional understanding of your personal strengths gained through a relationship focused on helping you recognize your strengths and challenges that leads to growth. Good coaches will not only model these EI skills they will also share their own challenges in these areas and their strategies for leveling up their skills. 

4. Look for a coach who is transparent enough to share their failures and strategies for bouncing back from leadership disappointments.

Leadership is a calling not a position or a title. Experienced leaders have faced both opposition and set backs; both go with the territory of leadership.  A coach who has had a variety of leadership positions and experiences, both good and bad, will gladly share those experiences as topics for discussion in a good coaching relationship. The best coaches know what they don't know and say so.

Be on the lookout for coaches who are unwilling to admit to any mistakes in their own leadership journey. Maintaining an appearance of invincibility is one mark of a narcissistic coach. These people lack the empathy and self awareness necessary to be helpful as coach. Once you see these characteristics, run! You won't be helped only exploited.

5.  Evaluate the credentials and experience of your coach carefully.

While a doctoral degree may be helpful in someone's training to be a coach, it's neither necessary nor sufficient. A number of my colleagues with PhDs are talented therapists or researchers, but few of these "Docs" are good coaches. On the other hand, someone with little professional training in how to be a helper except for an online "coaching certificate" and some business experience in HR would not be on my list of qualified candidates to be my coach either.  

Here's my suggestions for evaluating a prospective coach:

• Look for someone with some training in counseling in their educational background. Basic helping skills are learned.
• Look for someone with some business experience as an owner or manager.
• Look for someone who leaves room in the conversation for you to talk; avoid people who spend all or most of time talking or selling you.
• Look for people who have coached people you respect.
• Ask for a preliminary Zoom call to interview a prospective coach. If there's no chemistry, move on.
• If they blog or post on social media about coaching, read what they have written (including books if they are published)
• Find out if they are in the "package" business; many "coaches" sell online video courses as coaching packages. Avoid them.
• Get references from former coaching clients.
• Avoid low cost options; you get what you pay for, especially in coaches.
• Get started; invest in your own career as a leader.

The Big Picture IS the Detail: Leadership in a Fractal Universe

We live in a fractal universe. A fractal is a pattern that is similar at ever increasing depths of analysis. Understanding fractals is fundamental to understanding how the universe is organized.

Fractal self-similarity means that patterns of organization that exist at the cosmic level are repeated at smaller and smaller scales throughout creation. The same pattern of organization that gives distant nebulae their characteristic shapes re-occur in the patterns of the iris of the human eye. (see the photo of eyes and nebulae at right) This similarity isn't an accident; it's a part of the underlying design and a pattern of the entire universe. The underlying math which defines these patterns is elegant in it's simplicity and yet produces profoundly complex patterns in it's natural execution.

 Here are two more examples.

The photo on the top at left is an electron microscopic photo of an atom. The photo just below it is a telescopic photo of a distant galaxy surrounding a black hole. Despite the massive differences in scale, from the nano- to the galactic, the patterns are unmistakably the same. The same underlying structure, the same mathematical patterns, define the shapes of both these natural phenomena.

The universe is fractal. In every natural domain, from the smallest to the largest, this pattern of self-similarity is evident, if you look for it. More importantly, these patterns are NOT random; they are organized. The universe is not random; the universe is elegantly organized, at every imaginable scale, from nanoscopic to extra-galactic. These are just a few examples; there are thousands more in biology, chemistry, physics, and virtually every field of science.

So what does this have to do with leadership? Everything.
What is true in the natural world is also true in the social world.  Patterns are repeated at every level of a system, whether natural or social. Organizations, enterprises, businesses, churches--all are social systems and all follow the same rules.

1. Every organization has fundamental, underlying rules which govern the patterns which is displays. That pattern can be intentionally designed by the leader/creator or it will be arrived at through system adaptations when the design is absent, incomplete, or not adaptive to the environment (self organization).

2. Complex adaptive systems (any social organization) all have these 4 defining characteristics according the John Holland (paraphrased and adapted by me):

• A large number of people acting simultaneously and independently, and
• They react to feedback from other people and the environment and change their behavior accordingly.
• People act according to a set of rules--a series of routines, which vary from group to group, and
• People adapt to changing conditions in order to improve their performance and that of the organization

Out of the interaction of these factors, the unique features or patterns of a given system (self organization)  "emerges". Notice the differences between these four characteristics, and those of a traditional top-down, hierarchical, industrial-era, command and control organization--they share NOTHING in common except the "large number of people".

3. Leaders become "catalysts for action" in complex systems. Leaders in complex adaptive systems lead by influence and example and thus become the catalysts for action.  Neuroscience research has begun to discover how this happens. The mirror neurons in our brains recreate or "mirror" the actions of other people we witness in our own cortical and sub-cortical structures. The patterns we see in our network of social relationships are recreated in our own network of neurons--another fractal pattern.  It has been known for a long time that people acquire most of their knowledge through their vision, and now we are beginning to understand how that works and why leading by example is so powerful.

4. Leaders of complex adaptive systems also lead by facilitating the development of a shared vision and then articulating that vision to people in the organization clearly and often. As a recent HBR survey recently discovered, the primary expectation that people in organizations have for their leaders is that they are "forward looking". Successful leaders in complex adaptive systems are focused on the future, and I don't mean the next quarter. They live out the motto "Think globally: act locally".

5. In the same way that "drilling down" in a complex system reveals the same pattern of relationships at each successive level, successful leadership ("building up") in a complex adaptive system creates successively more complex layers of connections that follow the same patterns observed in the behavior of the leader(s). It has long been known that organizations reflect the "personalities" of their leaders, for better or for worse. These leadership behaviors help to define the "rules" for how to act as a part of the system (the "subroutines"). For successful leaders, these leadership behaviors reinforce the essential characteristics of a networked system (see number 2 above) by:

• encouraging independent action of people who are part of the system
• rewarding adaptive responses to changes in the environment
• modeling and explaining the values and purposes of the organization so that the "subroutines" promote organizational effectiveness by  aligning decisions at every level with the values
• modeling "forward looking" and leading change so that adaptation and innovation are an essential system characteristic to maintain the long-term health and viability of the enterprise

6. Successful leaders of complex adaptive systems initiate and sustain change. When organizations are stressed and in "dis-equlibrium", small changes can lead to surprisingly dramatic outcomes. One of the early discoveries about the dynamics of complex systems was that a small change in initial conditions could lead to major changes and the "emergence" of new outcomes and organizational structures that could not have been predicted. Contrast this to the normal "management philosophy" of command and control, hierarchical organizations where leaders are rewarded for their ability to maintain the status quo. This is the primary distinction between leadership and management, and why so many "managers" are so frustrated in their jobs--they are using 19th century industrial-era tools in a 21st century networked world.

So this is how leadership works in a fractal universe. Leaders create and model "forward looking" patterns of behavior themselves. They encourage and promote the same behavior in others in the organization by establishing and building a network of relationships which will also model and communicate the vision and values of the organization. They encourage independent action of everyone who is a part of the system. They reward adaptive responses by everyone in the system. They lead change by making small changes themselves which fosters the emergence of dramatic new outcomes from the organization as a whole.

The universe is fractal.

Leadership Lessons from Creation: My Top 10 List

The natural universe provides lessons for leaders by providing an example of what a healthy, adaptive system (organization) looks like.

Here's my top 10 list for characteristics of healthy organizations/enterprises/businesses/churches and their behavior and communications.

For any organization...

1. If it's growing, it's healthy.

2. If it's balanced, it's healthy.

3. If it's loving and joyful, it's healthy.

4. If it's on the edge of chaos, it's healthy. 

5. It it's clear and understandable, it's healthy.

6. If it's trusting, it's healthy.

7. It it's healing, it's healthy.

8. If it's miraculous, it's healthy.

9. If it's forgiving, it's healthy.

10. If it's perspective is eternal, it's healthy.

Of course there are many more characteristics of healthy complex adaptive systems, but these 10 are easy to understand. 

People in healthy organizations tell stories which contain one or more of these themes; people in dying organizations tell stories with themes that are the opposite of these 10. 

What kinds of stories are your people telling?

Everybody Wants to go to Heaven, but Nobody Wants to Die

10 Paradoxes of Servant Leadership

1. To lead, you first must serve.
2. To be fully engaged, you must take time to be alone.
3. To sell any corporate vision, you must tell personal stories.
4. To think clearly and objectively, you must first feel deeply and empathetically.
5. To encourage learning, you must love bad news as much as good news.
6. To be a great leader, you must be willing to be humble.
7. To receive forgiveness for your inevitable mistakes, you must freely confess and freely forgive.
8. To influence, you must balance talking with listening.
9. To have authority, you must give it all away.
10. To truly live, you must die (to self).

Visionary Leaders are Forthright, Confident, Authoritative

Your playing small does not serve the world.
Nelson Mandela

Visionary leaders are forthright. They speak their minds and articulate their visions clearly--no politically correct double-talk or politically motivated spinning of bad news. They understand that their credibility, and the credibility of their vision, is on the line every time they speak, and refuse to trade short-term popularity for value of their long term vision. Consequently, they know that one person of every six people who hears them won't like what they hear, and they are OK with that fact.

Visionary leaders are confident. An inherent belief in their vision, their own ability to make it happen (eventually), and in the people they lead combine to generate a sense of confidence that attracts loyal followers. Confidence is the result of a life history of competence--trying new challenges, persisting until mastery is achieved, enjoying the success, but not too much, and repeating the process over and over in many domains. Confidence is not the result of having everyone tell you how wonderful you are or "building your self-esteem"--that only build narcissism, not confidence. Confidence follows competence and mastery.

Visionary leaders are authoritative. That's authoritative NOT authoritarian. Authoritative leaders know what they know and are persuaded by facts and experience, not by the volume nor intensity of their less visionary detractors. Authoritative leaders also have the EQ to know what they don't know; they know the limits of their own expertise and willingly say so without apology. Visionary leaders don't need or want to force their vision on anyone; they count on the vision to draw people to follow when the time is right.

Mandela understood this leadership lesson very well and practiced it diligently.

Leaders Inevitably Make Some People Angry

Leadership positions are not for "people pleasers". Because real leaders have a personal vision for the way they want their world to be, they are focused on doing the right thing to make their vision a reality. Since any vision involves change, it also inevitably means that some of the old rules will be broken and the existing "establishment" or the traditional way of doing things will be challenged.

This lesson in leadership is distilled from the gospel of Luke where Jesus announces his vision and mission in his "home church". His vision challenged the traditional wisdom that being Jewish alone made a person more valuable to God than the Gentiles. Talk about bombshells--Jesus launched his mission with a bang! He also first articulates the timeless truth "no prophet is ever welcome in his home town" just before the Nazareans, the people who had known him since birth, run him out of town.

Everett Rogers classic research into the adoption of innovation sheds some light on this incident. Rogers evaluated more than 1800 studies looking into the way in which new ideas and technologies are adopted, and then classified the various types of responses to these changes into 5 groups of people. His groups are:
1. Innovators (2.5%)
2. Early adopters (13%)
3. Early majority (34%)
4. Late majority (34%)
5. "Loyal defenders of the present" (16%)

It is most likely that members of this last group led the charge in running Jesus out of Nazareth. As Everett clearly proved, in any large group, nearly 1 in 6 people will actively resist ANY change proposed by a visionary leader (or anyone else). Jesus, being a supremely insightful leader, did not stay to debate or persuade these people; rather, he left town!

Contrast this strategy to those of most "leaders" in organizations large and small. When a new initiative of some kind is announced at some "all hands" meeting, there is nearly always an opportunity for questions. Of those asking the questions, most will be members of the "loyal defenders of the present" faction, and they will be passionate and persistent in expressing their views and challenging the new plan, process, or whatever. Both during and after the meeting, the "people pleasers" in the leadership team will devote endless hours to trying to get these vocal opponents "on board", to no effect.

These ineffective leaders take the opposition to change personally, and frequently express the opinion that their inability to get "everyone" to sign on is a personal failure of their leadership ability. It is, but not in the way they think. It is a failure to understand that some people never change, and don't want to, period. Visionary leaders focus their efforts on those who are interested, not on those who are resistant.

So here are the lessons:

First, all leaders have or develop a substantial group of opponents by virtue of the fact that they have a vision for change and are inspired talk about it.

Second, visionary leaders don't waste energy trying to convince the unconvincable. They move on.

Walking the Walk: Leadership Lessons of the World's Greatest Leader--list of lessons

Walking the Walk: Leadership Lessons of the World's Greatest Leader is a work in progress, but I have drafted a list of the lessons learned from the Gospel of Luke. Each of the lessons will be explained in a separate post over the next few months, along with additional business stories and analysis from the leadership literature. The first lesson and introduction were posted earlier, the entire list follows:

The Lessons:

1. Visionary leaders have a vision before they begin.

2. Visionary leaders make some people angry, especially those who are "loyal defenders of the present".

3. Visionary leaders don't waste time trying to convince the un-persuadable,they move on to those who want to listen.

4. Visionary leaders are forthright, confident, and authoritative.

5. Visionary leaders avoid personal celebrity that would interfere with their mission.

6. Visionary leaders recruit loyal followers by giving them a purpose that's essential to enabling the vision, and confidence to step out on a new path.

7. Visionary leaders work with those who want to learn and be changed.

8. Visionary leaders form relationships with other leaders who have different values.

9. Visionary leaders have a sense of urgency.

10. Visionary leaders lead by telling stories with a message (parables).

11. Visionary leaders defend their followers from attacks from the "loyal defenders of the present".

12. Visionary leaders reinterpret the old truths and give them a new twist consistent with the new vision.

13. Visionary leaders, after careful contemplation, select a small core-leadership team that is diverse and committed to the vision.

14. Visionary leaders clearly articulate the values that they believe.

15. Visionary leaders publicly praise and reward those who exemplify the visionary values in action.

16. Visionary leaders rely on the support of their followers.

17. Visionary leaders mentor their leadership team and answer their questions about how to lead.

18. Visionary leaders act on their vision but when the change they bring frightens people, visionary leaders don't struggle to overcome the opposition, they move on and leave a follower to carry the message.

19. Visionary leaders, after a period of mentoring, give their leadership team a mission at a formal ceremony, including the authority to carry out the mission, a set of values to live up to as leaders as they work to further the vision.

20. Visionary leaders promote action learning; after a period of time in action, leadership teams return to their leader to report and for a leadership retreat.

21. Visionary leaders retreat from daily distractions to have conversations with their leadership team about their understanding of the vision, mission, purpose and values.

22. Visionary leaders keep their followers focused on the vision and the mission not the past or other distractions.

23. Visionary leaders select future leaders, give them partners, and send them out with a clear mission in service of the vision.

24. Visionary leaders keep their focus on their vision and the core leadership team that will make it happen, reinforcing the message at every opportunity.

25. Visionary leaders sometimes take dramatic action to demonstrate their core values in action and continue to reinforce the message about the vision, purpose, and values.

26. Visionary leaders refuse to be suckered into pointless debates with those opposed to the vision.

27. Visionary leaders follow through with their vision and carry out their mission regardless of the personal cost.

28. Visionary leaders empower the core leadership team to carry on with the vision and mission after they leave.


Copyright 2009 Kevin Karlson JD PhD

All rights reserved.